Canicule – Heatwave
Voice: Suno
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With humour, irony and a provocative edge, Canicule takes aim at one of the emblematic figures of our time: the climate sceptic. The song portrays those who deny global warming not on the basis of scientific analysis, but because they do not personally feel its immediate effects. From their shaded terrace, their swimming pool, or their air-conditioned home, they solemnly explain that everything is fine and that scientists’ warnings are exaggerated.
Beyond caricature, the song questions the mechanisms of denial, disinformation, and the rejection of expertise. It also draws a parallel between various forms of contemporary denialism: conspiracy thinking, anti-vaccine attitudes, rejection of scientific facts, and refusal to acknowledge the social and environmental consequences of collective choices.
One of the recurring threads of the lyrics is the question of inequalities in the face of climate change. While some can still protect themselves from it thanks to their material comfort, others are directly exposed to it: outdoor workers, people living in overheated housing, or populations forced to leave territories that have become uninhabitable. The song thus contrasts the comfortable certainties of the privileged with the lived reality of those who have neither air conditioning, nor refuge, nor any possibility of escape.
Beneath its light and satirical surface, Canicule is a committed song that invites reflection on individual and collective responsibilities in the face of the climate emergency. True to Jean-Pierre Martinez’s universe, it uses humour as a tool of social criticism, transforming a serious subject into a biting fable in which laughter serves to reveal the contradictions of our time.
The full lyrics of the song Canicule are presented here together with the audio recording.
A song that can accompany Jean-Pierre Martinez’s play Surviving Mankind
https://jeanpierremartinez.net/en/surviving-mankind/
Lyrics of the song
Sous le parasol de leur terrasse
Au bord de la piscine
Ou bien, au frais dans leur mas
À l'ombre de la clim
Sirotant, un pastis avec de la glace
En petit polo de leur marque favorite
Gentiment ces gens vous expliquent
Que le réchauffement c'est un mythe
Ce sont les climato-sceptiques
Puisqu'ils n'ont pas trop chaud
Le thermomètre doit se tromper
Après tout c'est l'été
Et l'été il fait chaud
Y fait chaud pas d'panique
C'est nous les climatosceptiques
Y fait chaud c'est juste la saison
Et nous on a toujours raison
Je pense donc je suis, tu parles
Pas besoin de penser pour avoir un avis
En démocratie n'importe quel con peut dire
Je ne pense pas, je suis sûr, et ça me suffit
C'est qui tous ces écolos
Qui prétendent vivre dans une étuve
Et en plus s'ils ont chaud
Ce s'rait à cause de mon suv
Pourquoi en faire toute une salade
Ils doivent être malades
C'est bien connu, quand on a la fièvre
On accuse le thermomètre
Quand on est con, on est con
Mais vous connaissez l'dicton
C'est pas parce qu'on est con
Qu'il faut pas donner d'leçons
Y fait chaud pas d'panique
C'est nous les climato-sceptiques
Les vrais héros à l'esprit critique
Les sauveurs de la République
Climato-sceptiques
Vous avez raison
Les scientifiques
Sont vraiment des cons
Des empêcheurs
De tourner en rond
Des manipulateurs
Peut-être même des espions
Vous, vous avez tout compris
Pas besoin d'faire d'études
Une opinion suffit
Ou encore mieux une certitude
Hier anti-vax
Aujourd'hui climato-sceptiques
Demain anti Me Too
Et toujours complotistes
C'est nous les négationnistes
Pendant ce temps-là sur les chantiers
L'ouvrier marne par 50 degrés
Avant d'rentrer dans sa cité
Griller dans son HLM surchauffé
Tandis qu'au large des côtes d'Afrique
On s'entasse sur des radeaux transatlantiques
Bizarrement parmi les réfugiés climatiques
Y'a pas beaucoup de climato-sceptiques
Under the parasol on their terrace
By the swimming pool
Or staying cool inside their farmhouse
In the shade of the air conditioning
Sipping a pastis on the rocks
In a little polo shirt from their favourite brand
These people kindly explain to you
That global warming is a myth
They are the climate sceptics
Since they are not too hot
The thermometer must be wrong
After all, it’s summer
And summer is hot
It’s hot, no need to panic
We are the climate sceptics
It’s hot, it’s just the season
And we are always right
I think, therefore I am — yeah, right
No need to think to have an opinion
In a democracy, any idiot can say
I don’t think, I’m sure, and that’s enough for me
Who are all these environmentalists
Claiming they live in an oven
And what’s more, if they’re hot
It’s supposed to be because of my SUV
Why make such a fuss about it
They must be ill
Everyone knows that when you have a fever
You blame the thermometer
When you’re an idiot, you’re an idiot
But you know the saying
Just because you’re an idiot
Doesn’t mean you can’t lecture others
It’s hot, no need to panic
We are the climate sceptics
The true heroes with critical minds
The saviours of the Republic
Climate sceptics
You are right
Scientists
Really are idiots
Spoilsports
Who stop the world from going round
Manipulators
Maybe even spies
You have understood everything
No need for studies
An opinion is enough
Or better still, a certainty
Yesterday anti-vax
Today climate sceptics
Tomorrow anti-MeToo
And always conspiracy theorists
We are the denialists
Meanwhile, on building sites
The labourer sweats in 50 degrees
Before going back to his housing estate
To roast in his overheated tower block
While off the coast of Africa
People are packed onto transatlantic rafts
Strangely enough, among climate refugees
There aren’t many climate sceptics
You can listen to this song freely on this website. For any other use, please contact Jean-Pierre Martinez via the website’s contact form.